Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
