someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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