no, he came in my armpit
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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