Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
