I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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