garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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