and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
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he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize