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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
