please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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