Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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