I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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