When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
