I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
