new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize