there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
