After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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