Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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