p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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