You're my little dorito
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
