youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
vagina is talking i cant
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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