I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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