The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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