I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
