First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
