Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
