Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Welp...herpes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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