I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
