just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
