why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
