now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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