I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
my poor anus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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