my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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