So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
