i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
