TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
