i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
