don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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