Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize