I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
