Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
