So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
