So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
