I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
