we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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