no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
