nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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