Cold hands, warm shart.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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