It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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