some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
