so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The Olympian is in my bed
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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