he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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