If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
