i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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