kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
