Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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