I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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