i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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