it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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