we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
