She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
