Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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