I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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