Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
